The page had tips of how to cover up your affair so your spouse wouldn’t know. “Put his number in your contacts under one of your friend’s names so if your husband sees when he calls, he won’t know.” Blah, blah, blah. (I won’t pass on the rest of the tips.)
Adultery has become so common place that editors and writers not only see this type of “advice” as normal, but as helpful and acceptable. It is so sad to me to know that this really is normal for so many people. Adultery has ruined so many families and hurt so many people and it just seems to be increasing. I know so many people who have been affected by it.
It has also saddened me to hear friends describe a favorite movie or book and when I mention that adultery is a major part of it, they say something like, “Well, yeah. But it’s so romantic.” Or “Yes, but his wife didn’t treat him well, so he was just finding love.” We’ll see (well, hopefully we won’t) if you think it’s so romantic when your husband tells you about the true love he has found in someone else, or your best friend tells you she’s getting a divorce because she found out her husband has been having an affair. It’s not romantic. It’s wrong.
And there is no excuse for it. People who do it will rationalize it many different ways, but it doesn’t matter what they tell themselves. It is wrong.
Along with adultery, single people not keeping the law of chastity is sadly too common also. A few years ago, I joined a Facebook group of LDS singles, thinking it would be a good to connect to people like me. Some people were like me, but as in any group, some people weren’t. Some people were talking about how it is better to sleep with someone and find out if they are sexually compatible before marriage so they don’t have to get another divorce and then they just repent. There were people who didn’t agree with that thinking, but some who did. I wanted a group that would help me stand for truth in a difficult time and instead, I just got the same message that the world is quick to repeat.
The world wants me to forget the covenants I have made with my Heavenly Father. Those covenants are not conditional or temporary. The world wants me to forget the peace that comes only from following the commandments, all of them. They want me to forget the true and lasting happiness that comes when a loving family is together and when you think of the blessing of being an eternal family because of your love, covenants and obedience. The world wants me to forget the peace you have if you aren’t hiding things you’ve done, hoping no one finds out.
I will not forget what I have promised my Heavenly Father. I will not forget that blessings and power come from His grace when I am obedient. I will not forget how Satan wants to drag each of us down, and how he can ruin eternal families under the disguise of having “fun” now and not worrying about tomorrow, let alone eternity. I can keep my priorities right as I keep my eyes fixed on eternity and enjoy the presence of the Holy Ghost, listen to His promptings and remain worthy of this blessing.
I wrote this post and almost posted it on Saturday night, the first day of conference, but I didn’t have a photo to go with it. Then in the Sunday morning session Elder Oaks gave a talk that spoke about chastity and even mentioned the word “forget” so I’m including some of his words here.
“The importance we attach to the law of chastity explains our commitment to the pattern of marriage that originated with Adam and Eve and has continued through the ages as God’s pattern for the procreative relationship between His sons and daughters and for the nurturing of His children…
“I pray that we will not let the temporary challenges of mortality cause us to forget the great commandments and priorities we have been given by our Creator and our Savior. We must not set our hearts so much on the things of the world and aspire to the honors of men (see D&C 121:35) that we stop trying to achieve our eternal destiny. We who know God’s plan for His children—we who have made covenants to participate in it—have a clear responsibility. We must never deviate from our paramount desire, which is to achieve eternal life.”
Elder Dallin H. Oaks, No Other Gods Sunday morning session, LDS General Conference, Oct. 2013