4 Things That Will Wreck Your Life & 4 Truths That Will Save It

I know this blog is public so I have to debate with myself what I should and shouldn’t share here. I’ll just say that last week I was my absolute lowest that I’ve been and it didn’t feel like I could get out of it. I never doubted that my Heavenly Father is there and that He loves me. I just doubt my strength to continue on and my ability to do well enough at school to graduate and get a good job in something that interests me. I fear years and decades of loneliness.

So I “talked” to myself, trying to figure out what I could do to get out of this funk. I had been reading my scriptures, going to church, praying, going to the temple, not doing bad things or going bad places…, but I still felt bad. We know who wants us to feel worthless and alone. Lucifer. So I decided that it was war and I was going to bombard him with missiles. I started listening to church talks and books in the car (like I used to until a few months ago) instead of music. I am watching old conference addresses or devotionals on TV in the morning as I get ready instead of watching a silly show or the news. When my mind starts to wander to things that make me sad, I change my thoughts to what I am grateful for.

It was a combination of things (these changes, talking/emailing with family and friends, and other things, I’m sure), but I woke up one morning and just felt good again. I already know I’m not “all better”. This goes in cycles where I’ll be feeling good and then I’ll be so down again. But I’m glad I didn’t stay down.

One of the talks I listened to that helped me is 4 Things That Will Wreck Your Life & 4 Truths That Will Save It by Sheri Dew. I have listened to it before, but I went to the library determined to get something to listen to, no matter how many times I heard it. It has been a while since I heard it. I love hearing Sister Dew. I put it in and started down the road. I listened for a little while and noticed that she was telling the same stories that I’ve heard her tell in other talks and thought that maybe I wouldn’t get anything new out of it. WRONG! As I listened, I heard things now that touched me in a different way since I am in different circumstances. You can imagine what one of those things was if you know about Sheri Dew. She talked about how very difficult it has been to be single.

She said. “I have come to see the doctrine of the atonement largely as a doctrine of healing. We are healed of our sins when we repent, but we can be healed of our weaknesses. We can be healed of our broken hearts.”

She mentioned this scripture.

Luke 4:18The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised

And continued: “I felt captive in a life I hated, being unmarried. I still hate it. I hate everything about it. I would never have believed at 33 years old that it would have been possible for me to ever feel joy again unless the Lord gave me a husband. That’s a righteous desire. We’re not complete without each other. We just aren’t. Believe me, I’m aware of it, every day that I am not whole.”

Sister Dew talked about how the Lord can heal our broken hearts and the Lord can free us from feeling like our lives are a prison, whatever the circumstance we find ourselves in.

I also appreciated the part of the talk where she asked us to consider:

Who are you influencing and what are you influencing them to do?

Who or what are you allowing to influence you?

From whom do you take your counsel? The Lord or the world?

I love how Sister Dew always talks about how much influence we as women (but men do too, of course) have over their family and friends and that we need to use that influence well. But this time I heard more about the part of being influenced and from whom we are taking counsel. Can we look at the world and say, “So many of them are doing it, so it’s okay if I do. Heavenly Father will understand.” Or even to look at members of the church and say the same thing. “I’m not the only member doing it, so it can’t be that bad.” WRONG! We all know that members are not perfect, but our Father is. He knows what we should do and we need to look to Him for guidance, not to others.

Sister Dew said this about Satan: “What he loves to do is to get us to look to the world to tell us who we are.” You know that if I look to the media and the world (and even some individuals), that the only message I’m going to get is that I’m not pretty enough, skinny enough, young enough, bubbly enough, rich enough… Satan doesn’t want us to be happy. He wants us to feel worthless. He wants me to feel worthless. That would be just the beginning of the road away from the celestial kingdom. How?

“There are certain things you would just never do once you know who you are.”

If I base my worth on how others see me and treat me, if I feel so very alone, I will lower my standards to meet those of others who might give me attention and “love” that I need instead of looking to the Lord.

Sister Dew quoted Elder Holland, speaking to a group of missionaries,

“Why is life so hard? Why is missionary work so hard? Salvation is not a cheap experience and it was never meant to be easy. Let us not worry about why it is so hard. Accept our difficulties. Count it a privilege to suffer and be discomforted, because in some small way you are sharing in our Savior’s experience.”

The final topic I’ll bring up is that nothing in the world that is taking place has taken our Father by surprise. Sister Dew was talking about what is happening in the world in these latter days. But I immediately thought of it on a personal level. Nothing that happens in my life is a surprise to my Father, even when it is a surprise to me. He has helped prepare me to live through it. He is here with me and will not abandon me. He can help me strengthen my many weaknesses. He can help me feel His love and my worth that I struggle to feel at times.