With my very busy schedule right now trying to attend
classes, study enough for classes that are very difficult for me, and all the
mommy things I need and want to do, I’ve been thinking a lot about serving at
home. I do not feel like I have time or energy to do enough for my children.
And on top of this, I’m supposed to be working a 10-hour-a-week internship this
semester if I ever find one and work more hours in the summer.
I pray constantly
that my children know that it is a blessing that I can be in school since I
need to get a job and I’m studying biology which I love, but they are always my
number one, most important priority.
I want to share a little about my parents service in our
home since they are my examples. I have to take my 3 children to 3 different
schools at 3 different times in the morning before heading to school myself.
All the schools are less than 10 minutes away from home by car.
When I was in high school, I attended early morning seminary
at the church building. We lived in Ohio, so the building was not close. It
took around 20 minutes to get there. My dad woke up early every morning so he
could take me and the next year my sister also, along with a couple of other
friends to seminary. Since it was 20 minutes away, he didn’t drop us off and go
back home. He would stay at the church and then drive us home. He gave up sleep
and a lot of time each morning to take us.
He also often would go out early to warm up the car on cold
days so that we could all go straight from a warm house to a warm car.
Remembering this has made me feel bad because I run out the door along with my
kids, all freezing in the car until it warms up somewhere along the way.
I am the oldest of 6 kids. Some of you may have many children,
but I only have 3 and cannot imagine keeping up with 6 children, laundry,
cooking, dishes, sanity. Seriously I don’t know how you moms of many loved ones
do it. There were times when my mother went to school and others when she
worked on top of taking care of the home. And we didn’t make it easy. I do
remember sometimes rallying my brothers and sisters for a cleaning game, but I
don’t think it was often enough to do much good. And I do remember grumbling
when my sisters and I, being the oldest, had to leave our warm seats in front
of the TV for our usual lineup of shows and go wash dishes by hand.
I remember waking up on Saturdays to a whirring washer full
of clothes and my mother putting away groceries from her very early morning
trip to get it done early. She was up and busy while I slept. Now that I am a
mom, I am so sad that I didn’t help much ever. My mom had so much to do and I
usually just thought about what I wanted to do—listen to my cassettes, hang out
with my best friend, go swimming.
I am so grateful for all my parents have done and for their
continued love and prayers. They served in the church, in the community and at
work, but they never put that ahead of their children. Their service in the
home was a sacrifice, but one I will always remember.
We do have pretty great parents :) And you have followed in their footsteps. You are way too hard on yourself...not giving yourself enough credit for all the great things you do!
ReplyDeleteThe Lord never gives us more than we can handle and think that includes children. I think you are doing an amazing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for making me sound good. Your dad was good without you having to beef it up. I love you!
ReplyDeleteMom
I don't even have kids yet and I often wonder how they did it all! And I wonder how you do it all! I am sure your children do not question your love for them.
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI love that picture of your parents.
Pretty sure that your kids know how much you mean to them.