I Can't See Jesus

I just got back from a morning at the temple and wanted to write my feelings down. I wasn’t sure if I should share them or not, but I found this online at LDS.org, so my feelings seem okay to share.

"What can I say to others about my experience in the temple?

You can talk about what the interior of the temple looks like, and you can freely share the feelings you have in the temple. However, temple covenants and ordinances, including the words used, are too sacred to bediscussed in detail outside the temple. By avoiding discussion of these sacred things outside the temple, we protect them from mocking, ridicule, or disrespect. Do not be casual when talking about your experiences in the temple."

For those readers who do not know, there are different rooms in the temple for different purposes. Before the temple is dedicated, anyone of any faith can walk through a finished temple during the open house and see the beautiful building and learn about the purpose of the temple. One of the rooms in the temple is called the Celestial Room.



“The celestial room symbolizes the exalted and peaceful state that all may achieve through living the gospel of Jesus Christ. This room represents the contentment, inner harmony, and peace available to eternal families in the presence of Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.” (from LDS.org)

There is a painting of Christ on the wall in the main room. It is a painting that I grew up seeing and, although it is of Christ, who I love, the painting didn’t mean much to me until a visit to this temple years ago when I needed comfort and peace. These outstretched arms seemed almost 3D to me, reaching to me, to hug me and succor me. Since then, I always look up at this painting when I am there; reminding of my Savior’s love, and of a constancy when so much else in my world seems to be unstable and temporary.

This morning as I entered the celestial room, I saw that it was pretty crowded and there weren’t many open seats. The celestial room at this temple includes a main room with 2 kind of alcoves off to each side (left and right). I sat in a seat in one of the alcoves and then looked up at the wall of the main room. From the angle I was at, I couldn’t see this painting. As silly as it seems (and is), tears came to my eyes as I thought, “I can’t see Jesus”.

I immediately thought about how horrible I would feel if when it was my time to leave this world and pass into the next, I was judged and my actions only qualified me to live eternally in the Terrestrial or Telestial kingdom. I would not get to live with my Father in Heaven and with Jesus Christ. My heart would ache because “I can’t see Jesus” all the time. It just gave me a small glimpse into what a blessing it will be for those who do qualify for the Celestial Kingdom to live with them.

I know that no matter how long I live, I will not approach perfection in this life, and I’m grateful we don’t have to be perfect, but on the right path, following the commandments and keeping our covenants, letting our Father mold our hearts and characters, in order to live with Him again.  What a beautiful future to look forward to if we endure here.