Sunday, July 10, 2011

Waiting on My Miracle

This is going to be a long post full of quotes, but they are just a small part of the talks I have been studying recently as I have been studying the topic of miracles. Sorry if I have whined about this too often, but it is my life. I have, over the past year and couple of months, been pleading with my Father for a miracle. To me it would be a miracle, not just a blessing, to find someone to be my eternal companion. If you have never been single and over 30, you do not understand how stacked against me the odds are! You do not know that at every singles activity, there are 10 women to 1 man and usually that 1 man is not a faithful priesthood holder or is just plain strange. There must be a few good guys out there, but they don't seem to come to activities or just don't wanna talk to me.

If a man actually talks to me, he first asks 3 questions, sometimes before asking my name. “How old are you?” So far, most guys my age are looking for younger so mostly I have men in their 50s interested. *Sigh* “How many kids do you have?” Most men already have children of their own and adding 3 is a lot. “What do you do? A student? You don’t even work?” Exit stage left.

The only way I will ever be sealed is by a merciful miracle. So I continue to pray for my miracle.

“Having faith means doing our best to bring about a miracle, but it also requires having the patience to realize the Lord understands His eternal timetable better than we do.

Do you believe in miracles in your own life? I hope you do.

You have some difficult battles to fight. It is easy to let fear overtake us. Have courage! Have faith! Remember the sons of Helaman. “Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; … yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them” (Alma 56:47).”

…Trust in God is vital, as is confidence that He will do what He says He will do.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie (1915–85) taught that faith requires assurance that God will hear our prayers and answer them. No person can have this assurance when he knows he is not living in the way the Lord wants him to live. This is another key element in bringing about miracles. Faith requires repentance. Miracles require faith. So miracles require repentance. Therefore, faith and repentance (which result in righteous living) are the means by which miracles come into our lives.
Now remember, the Lord’s timetable may be different from yours. As Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles says, ‘When we seek inspiration to help make decisions, the Lord gives gentle promptings. These require us to think, to exercise faith, to work, to struggle at times, and to act. Seldom does the whole answer to a decisively important matter or complex problem come all at once. More often it comes a piece at a time without the end in sight” (Ensign, Nov. 1989, 32).’”
Elder Larry W. Gibbons, Do You Need a Miracle?, New Era, Feb. 2003
“My brothers and sisters, today is a day of miracles. We believe in miracles. The Latter-day Saints may expect miracles according to their faith. As a member of this Church, you are authorized to take a leading part in the development of the kingdom of God on earth within your respective responsibilities. Pray fervently. Actively seek to increase your faith, and with that great gift from God, you can cause great things to occur within your life and in the lives of others.”
Elder Gene R. CookFaith in the Lord Jesus Christ, New Era, Oct. 1982

I know that we can ask for things, even things that we feel is good, and we don't get what we ask for. A friend of mine asked me why I thought that the Lord would withhold the blessing of marriage from me when it is part of his plan. I don’t know, but I know many women who have been single for 6, 10, 20 years. They are faithful, good, beautiful, intelligent women. Sometimes we do not get what we want and it is not easy to trust that it is best for us. But that is what having faith is-knowing that Heavenly Father knows everything and can guide us to what is right for us. I think that most of us ask for a miracle of some kind at one time in our lives--a loved one to be healed or allowed to stay with us on earth a little longer, needed employment in a bad job market, passing a really hard class... Sometimes everything turns out how we hoped, but not always.

“I have been speaking of miracles that happen. What about miracles that don’t happen? Most of us have offered prayers that were not answered with the miracle we requested at the time we desired. Miracles are not available for the asking. We know this from the Lord’s revelation directing that the elders should be called to lay hands on and bless the sick: ‘It shall come to pass that he that hath faith in me to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed’ (D&C 42:48). The will of the Lord is always paramount. The priesthood of the Lord cannot be used to work a miracle contrary to the will of the Lord. We must also remember that even when a miracle is to occur, it will not occur on our desired schedule. The revelations teach that miraculous experiences occur ‘in his own time, and in his own way’ (D&C 88:68).

…As I said earlier, the Lord works miracles in response to the faith of His children. No denomination—not even the restored Church—has a monopoly on the blessings of the Lord. He loves and blesses all of His children.”
Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Miracles, Ensign, June 2001

This is a very simple experience, but I love what Meilani says at the end. So true!

"Meilani Smith Kongaika told this experience recently. She went on the choir tour to the South Pacific a few years ago and was very concerned about the fact that she hated fish but knew that fish was the main diet in the islands of the Pacific. Fish was repulsive to her. Staying with members meant that she would probably have to refuse the fish and run the likelihood of offending her hosts. So she prayed earnestly about it and asked Heavenly Father to somehow rescue her somehow from this inevitable situation in which she might bring harm and insult to someone. In one island, she was assigned to stay with a very humble family. When Meilani entered the house the hostess asked if she would like to accompany her to the market to get some food. Meilani was glad to go. When they got to the market the hostess asked “What kind of food would you like to eat?” Thinking that this was the Lord’s answer to her prayers, to give her a chance to tell the hostess what she could or couldn’t eat without bringing it up in the first place, Meilani said, “Chicken, I love chicken.”

The sweet islander hostess, looking crestfallen and very embarrassed, said to her, ‘Oh I humbly apologize, chicken is too expensive for us. How about some nice fish?’ Meilani could only say, ‘Great.’ And all she could do was to pray to make the best out of the meal of fish the lady bought. She determined to do her best. Meilani even helped cook the fish. When she sat down with the family to eat, she very tentatively took a tiny bit of fish. To her amazement it tasted delicious. She felt nothing of her former revulsion. She finished her portion and asked for some more. Of course the family was delighted that she loved the food. Then came Meilani’s profound observation. ‘In our prayers we get so used to telling the Lord how we want him to bless us that we don’t allow Him to work the miracle that He wants to give us for our own good, not just because it’s comfortable.’"
Eric B. Shumway, Do You Need a Miracle?  BYUHawaii Devotional, 30 August 2001

I have been feeling very guilty for not living the commandment to be of good cheer and endure to the end. I’m enduring because I have no choice, but not always well. Then today as I was searching for something to listen to while I was baking (new recipes to come), I found this program on the The Mormon Channel  called Enduring It Well. It was exactly what I needed. I listened to 5of the episodes so far. They are people who talk about big trials they have gone through and how they have stayed faithful through them. It really lifted me up and helped me be happy today.
One of the episodes I listened to was an interview of Ed and Lois Smart, Elizabeth Smart’s parents. The interview was taped when Elizabeth was still on a mission in France. They are really examples to me. This part at the end really hit me:
Interviewer: “Have you recovered?”

Lois Smart: “Yes. We have to remember and it was just like [Ed] said earlier about Elizabeth. You know, this just makes up a very small part of our life. It’s just a little bit of who she is and of who we are. We have our whole lifetime ahead of us.”

I am praying that I can really see this part of my life that way, that I can enjoy and savor this time in my children’s lives even with my pain, and that I can be grateful for all the many miracles in my life everyday and see this as temporary. It is a small part of my life. I have many years ahead of me. Now I just have to be happy that I have many years ahead of me. Working on it all!


  1. When I was single, and longing to be married, I prayed like I had never prayed before. And I received the answer, "Be patient." That was sooooo not the answer I wanted! But the answer was so clear, I could not deny where it came from. I had a plan for my life.... and Heavenly Father's plan for me is so much better than I could ever have planned. I know he has miracles in store for you. It is hard but...Be patient. Love ya! Heather

  2. We just experienced a miracle in our family. My husband's sister, who has endured two divorces (one from a physical abuser and one from a man who declared himself "gay"), and who at 60 (and a grandma several times over) hardly dared hope for the "real thing" in this life, was just sealed to a wonderful man in the temple. He is a good man, a widower, a retired schoolteacher and former bishop; as steady as they come. That Sharon should find such love and devotion at this phase of her life is no less than MIRACULOUS. You are right to not give up hope - to believe in miracles. I'm writing a book right now that I hope will help women secure and keep the kind of marriage they dream of -- can't wait to share it. Love you Valerie!

  3. Valerie, you are fabulous! I actually have several friends in similar situations and I have learned so much from them about accepting and being happy with your lot in life. I know your family is so blessed to have you totally committed and devoted to them. Thanks for sharing some of your frustrations! It helps me out a lot.

  4. Thank you for your incredible example! What I love is that you still feel hope and still desire a marriage -- I have seen so many incredible women who have lost hope and so stop even desiring. Thank you for sharing your thoughts -- this hope for a miracle is applicable to all of our lives.

  5. My husband and I have encountered multiple trials over the last 12 months, to the point of sheer mental and emotional exhaustion. I remember last month after I put my children down for their naps, falling to my knees and sobbing and crying to the Lord because I just didn't know how much more I could take. I never asked Him to take away our trials, but to help us find our way through them and be happy again. Our trials are still ongoing, but we can now see a light at the end of the tunnel, and have found a renewed sense of strength. We are yet facing a new trial, but after I read 1Nephi 4:6 yesterday, I knew the Lord would take care of us.

    He takes care of all of His children, and it hurts Him to see His children struggle! Often I myself forget that He really does want us to be happy in this life. While I can't offer any advice on your frustrations, know that you are loved. Your happiness in another may be just around the corner. I have a male friend who is 31 and getting married this summer...and I am saddened by his choice to be married outside of the temple to a girl he 'kind-of' tolerates. I can only forsee bad things for their union (although I hope they prove me wrong!). I know from talking with him how badly he wanted to be married and have a companion, but I am certain that this marriage will not provide him with what he has hoped for. The Lord has not forgotten you and your patience will be rewarded...and there is no price that is too high for a husband like that. ;)


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