While I was getting ready for church yesterday, I had BYU-TV on and was listening to a talk by Elder Claudio R. M. Costa (of the Presidency of the Seventy). It was a great talk and he has a cute sense of humor (that I noticed didn't come out much in the transcript). If you'd like to read it all go here .
One thing that he said really struck me:
"Do you know the difference between a pessimist and an optimist? The optimist is the person who can always see a light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist is the person who turns off the light."
I don't want to be the kind of person who turns a light off, but as soon as I heard that, I knew that I did just that this past week. I was talking to some friends and was pretty negative. I am generally very grateful for all my amazing blessings and try to stay optimistic and positive. But this time, I was just feeing tired of so many people assuming that I'm always okay and that I have no real problems. People often tell me that I have a great life and if I mention anything I'm struggling with, they tell me that I should be happy that I don't have their problems. I was tired of being treated like I have no right to feeling discouraged or unsure about our economic future or anything else. So I vented a little. I had thought that it would make me feel better to let out some of my feelings, but it didn't. It actually had the opposite effect on me. I felt like I was just complaining and whining and ungrateful to my Heavenly Father.
I don't see anything wrong with sharing your feelings with others and having friends support you in your struggles, but I felt like the way I did it was just complaining. We all know someone who is almost always negative and complaining and is a drain to be around. We also know optimistic people who are always smiling and not whining, no matter how hard their trials are. I definitely want to be more like the latter. So I'm going to keep this quote in my head and stop myself from turning off the light. I am going to follow the example of so many wonderful people I know. Of the woman in my old ward who whenever she had big health problems, she would say, "That's just part of this life. I will be better in the next life." Or the couple in our ward who just lost their baby and got up and shared their testimony at her funeral. Or a patient woman who I visit teach whose baby is in the hospital again and needs a lung transplant and she never complains. I want to be able to not only see the light at the end of the tunnel, but to make a light if I can't see one.
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I know exactly what you mean. While I may not have anything major or drastic going on, that doesn't mean I don't struggle, and often struggle secretly with many things. But like you, I don't want to impose that on someone else and have them thinking, "oh please, you have it so easy, what are you complaining about!"
ReplyDeleteI find great joy and fulfillment in making people laugh. I always hope that I can.
Thanks for your great thoughts.
What a great post! I love what that woman said in your ward about her health problems...that she will be better in the next life. I'll try to remember that :)
ReplyDeleteYour pondering always leaves me pondering. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the good reminder (: I love reading your blog!
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