What Walls?

As I have shared with you already this year, I am reading the Book of Mormon all the way through this year. I actually wasn’t planning to. I was planning on only reading the Old Testament since that’s what they are studying in Sunday school and I already miss the classes since I’m in primary. (By the way, I was just called to be the 1st Counselor in primary and released as secretary. Eek!) But I had an interesting dream on New Year’s Eve. Cool timing, huh?

I dreamt that I was in a hurry to take the kids somewhere and I was passing a man standing on the side of a hall close to an elevator where I was waiting to go down. The man held out a Book of Mormon and asked me if I’d like to read it. I tried to tell him that I was a member, but thanks so much and then I hurried with my children to the elevator. Then the next day (still in my dream), I was hurrying past the same place and the man was again standing there. He told me that he was done reading the book and I could have it. I thought, “Oh. He is probably a very zealous returned missionary. That’s so great that he is trying to teach others, but how do I get him to understand that I am a member and I have my own book.” I told him that I had a Book of Mormon since I was a member. Then he asked me, “But when was the last time you read it?” Then I hurried to the elevator again.

When I woke up, I just thought, “Interesting dream” and nothing more. But then I started thinking about it. I AM a member and I DO have a Book of Mormon, but when did I read it last all the way through or even study it on a daily basis? It feels like not long ago, but the last time I read it through was more than 4 years ago. That sounded like too long to me. So I decided I would study the Book of Mormon along with trying to follow Sunday school and Relief Society lessons.

I am not saying that I had a revelation or a vision. I really think it was my subconscious talking to me. I had already been thinking “I need to read it”, “I oughta read it”, but I didn’t commit to do it. I have now made reading and studying a part of my morning routine and have already learned so much, even though I have read it before. I seem to be asking different questions as I read than I did before. For example, I read 1 Nephi 19:16

Behold, I have graven thee upon the apalms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.
I understand and have heard many times the first part, but I guess I never paid attention to the second part. I wrote this question in my scripture journal since there were no footnotes for the scripture to look up. “What are the walls and what does that mean?” Then I was able to look it up on the internet later that day. I actually only found one explanation for it. I don’t know if it’s just his interpretation or the actual meaning.

“We are engraved with the nails of crucifixion on the palms of his hands. Our walls—our defense, our safety, our welfare—are his continual concern.”
Hearken to the Truth and Give Heed, by Ted L. Gibbons

I’ve been thinking about this scripture (which is identical to Isaish 49:16) since I read that explanation. What a beautiful promise. Jesus really does remember each of us individually. He died for each of us, not just a huge mass of people. And He knows what is going on in our lives and cares. The more I read and learn, the more I feel the love and mercy of the Savior and of Heavenly Father. I am reassured that I am never alone. I am so glad I bugged myself in my sleep, along with several promptings from the Spirit, to do what I know I should be doing. What do you think our walls are? Any thoughts?